Self Improvement - My Unexpected Social Experiment

By Chris Atley

This week I enjoyed an extended period of Hawaiian vibes J It was nice to bring some mellow back to an extra full life! I so loved our break and when it was time to come home, I was reminded of how much I love the life we have created. Albeit a little chaotic at times, I love it ALL. One of my favourite things to do is drive my kids and their friends to where they need to go or have a house full of kids at our place. This week it was my turn to drive Jude and his buddies to their baseball practice (it's a good distance), and I so loved the conversations that ensued. It's a great way to keep up with my kids and to also create a fun, safe have been had in our hot tub! Sometimes it's these small moments that bring the most joy.

So while we were away we rented a "little red corvette". Remember that song by Prince?! We of course played it while driving around. We were hoping to get a jeep, but the island had a recall on them and so we went with a convertible. It was super fun BUT what I didn't expect was the way we were treated. Some good, some bad and a whole lot of interesting. Thus my unexpected social experiment was born. Read on to learn more AND how this type of behaviour is exactly what keep people stuck. Stuck from creating the success they want.

Have a beautiful weekend and Happy Mother's Day to all of you beautiful Mama's out there. You are amazing!! As a friend and I joked the other day, we are nailing it with our dogs! Mom of the year in that department for sure. Ha.

The responses we got varied while we tooted around in our little red corvette. They ranged from excitement, to dirty looks, to confusion.

Hmm... what was up with this I wondered?

Things got real when we pulled into a famous restaurant on the coast that had been recommended. We had just taken little corvette up to the top of a 10 000 foot high crater - an old volcano - and I in particular was not feeling so hot from the elevation. As we made our way down, we decided to pop into this spot for a snack. I was super stoked at the thought of fresh fish - I was praying for tacos - at a beautiful location by the water. We made our way over and when we pulled into the parking lot, we discovered it was valet only. No big deal, little red deserved some special treatment anyway right?! Special treatment it got NOT. The valet readily informed us that the restaurant was completely full. People have had reservations for days in advance he said, and there was no way we were getting in. We asked about having a drink at the bar instead where we were promptly told it was packed and there was absolutely no way.

Bummer we thought. It was our last day and we couldn't come back.

Well anyone who knows me well knows I don't take no for answer lightly. Where there's a will there's a way right?! So I decided to call from the car to get a reservation. Well as "luck" would have it someone cancelled their reservation and we were able to get one for 40 minutes later! Furthermore, we were welcome to come in and wait at the bar.

Hmm... again...

What gives I asked my husband? He explained that people don't like other people driving these cars. Why I asked? He then revved the engine and spun out. That's why he said! Oh...

So we went back to the restaurant, that initial valet being no where in sight. We went in, had plenty of seats to choose from at the bar and only waited about 20 minutes for our table. AND our table "happened" to be in the very best location. Right by the along the sand overlooking the water. We had the most gorgeous view and it was super romantic. We couldn't have planned it any better.

We then went to get the car, and the initial valet was there and had to get our car.

That's karma!

On our way back from the restaurant, my husband revved the car again at a stop sign and got yelled at! He wasn't even going fast, it was just LOUD.

Geesh...

This is so interesting I thought - that we were being completely judged and treated differently because of this car!

No wonder I thought, why people are afraid to step out and have nice things! I remember being super embarrassed when I drove my first higher end car - a white BMW. I remember pulling into the kids pre-school being so nervous people would judge me.

Who the heck cares what type of car one drives? It doesn't mean you're a bad person if you have nice things and it also doesn't make you a good person. It literally means nothing. It's society that has created all of this judgement around it. What a belief system based on lies.

Now it's not too far of a stretch to see this is also why people don't stand up for themselves, speak out AND create the success they want. Because they are afraid of this exact reaction. Being judged for being different. In all of my years coaching, most business owners are afraid of who they are going to leave behind once they reach their goals and dreams, and what said people will think of them if they do. But the level of success (any level really), they are talking about involves change, growth and usually letting go of toxic and unhealthy relationships. It can't not. Most people don't consciously judge, criticize or resent others for stepping out of the norm, but we can sure feel it, making interactions, with them unpleasant and uncomfortable to say the least. It's our habitual instinct to stay together as a group for mere safety and survival, so it makes sense why this happens. Well survival has changed and it's time to evolve in our thinking too.

Let's check in - where are you unconsciously treating others this way? Let's stop the judgement first and foremost, and celebrate other people's success. It takes courage - literally fighting ingrained instincts - to step outside of the box and follow your dreams.

But we can do it and continue to do it AND we can all rise together instead of it being so separate and exclusive.

Amen.