False-Self: Is It Normal For Someone To Create A False-Self When They Feel Worthless?

When it comes to how one sees themselves, it could be said that the ideal will be for them to have a positive self-image. If this is in place, it is naturally going to be a lot easier for them to feel good about themselves.

Another Experience

Yet, although this is going to be the ideal, not everyone is going to experience life in this way. There are going to be plenty of people who find it incredibly difficult to feel good about themselves.

And if they were to feel better, this could be something that doesn't last for very long. There is also the chance that this will cause them to feel even worse, and so they might prefer to avoid things that will have a positive effect on them.

The Contrast

What this comes down to is that when one feels low, this will be something they are used to; it will be painful, but it will be what is familiar. However, when one is able to feel better, it will be a lot harder for them to handle how they usually feel.

One will have had a taste of how different their life can be, and it will be only too clear how bad they usually feel. So even though this will feel good, it will cause then to experience even more pain.

Avoidance

As a result of this, one can end up doing everything they can to make sure that they don't come into contact with anything that will alter their emotional state. Now, this is not to say that this is something that will take place consciously.

Instead, this is something that can take place unconsciously, and this means that they won't even need to think about it. This will stop them from feeling better, but it will also stop them from feeling even worse.

Other People

When it comes to the people they spend time with, they could also have a similar emotional state. Therefore, how one comes across is not going to stand out, and they won't need to put on an act.

At the same time, one may find that there are moments when they spend time with people who are the complete opposite. What this could show is that these are people who have a positive self-image, and this is why they are able to act as they do.

Another Area

As one sees themselves in this way, it might not have been possible for them to get very far when it comes to their career. They might have a job that is far from fulfilling; with this being something that they would happily walk away from.

But although they would like to do this, they could believe that they don't deserve to do anything else. And so if they were to walk away from what they do, it could be seen as something that would cause them to do something that is just as bad.

Restricted

Based on this, one is not exactly going to see themselves as someone who has the ability to live a fulfilling life. The only option they will have is to settle for how their life is, and to watch other people enjoy themselves.

What this shows is that one will have embraced how they feel about themselves, and in general, they won't try to resist it. But while this is what they will have done, there will be others who have responded differently.

Rising Up

When this takes place, one won't have embraced how they feel; they will have disconnected from it. What this is then going to mean is that they won't end up feeling as though they are less-than others.

One can come to believe that they are the ones who are better than others, and this will give them a false sense of superiority. It then might not matter what someone else does, as they can believe that they are below them.

In the Driver's Seat

Through taking this approach, it is likely to give one a sense of control, and it will then be possible for them to achieve things. This could mean that they will be seen as being fairly successful, or they could be seen as being extremely successful.

One way of looking at what they have achieved would be to say that this will be a way for them to prove to themselves that they have value. Through creating a life where they are successful, it will keep how they truly feel at bay.

A Daily Process

And, in order for them to make sure that it doesn't come to the surface, they will need to maintain their current level of success. Having said that, it might be more accurate to say that they will need to achieve even more.

One can get used to what they have achieved, and there will always be something else that they need to do. It be could said that there is nothing wrong with trying to achieve things, but this is not what is being spoken about here.

Normal

The difference here is that one will believe that their value is based on what they achieve, as opposed to who they are. Yet when one is comfortable with themselves, they will realise that their value is based on who they are and not on what they do.

Nevertheless, if one had to choose between feeling worthless and not achieving anything or elevating themselves above others and being able to achieve things, it is not going to be much of a surprise to see that they have gone with the second option. This will have stopped them from feeling so low, and it would have given them the ability to change their life.

A Closer Look

It would then have been as if they had to submit to how they felt, and to resign themselves to living a life that wasn't worth living, or, to take control, and to create a life that was worth living. Yet, when they first felt this way, the only thing on their mind might have been to feel better.

When one feels worthless, it can be the result of what took place when they were younger, and this may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected. This would have caused one to feel as though they were inherently flawed, and this was then something that permeated their whole being.

Awareness

This is not the true though, and this why one doesn't have to experience life in this way forever. When it comes to moving forward, they may need to work with a therapist.

Prolific writer, author, and coach, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With over one thousand three hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. His current projects include 'A Dialogue With The Heart' and 'Communication Made Easy'.

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 By Oliver JR Cooper


Article Source: False-Self: Is It Normal For Someone To Create A False-Self When They Feel Worthless?